Dreadball – The Trontek Cup

Season 2016/17 of the WADDA Championship began with the Trontek Cup, an MVP-free competition that was a (re)-learning of the game for the coaches.

Barry’s Mandigester United narrowly beat Ste’s as yet unnamed Teratons by a single point. The game was marred by the death of Phil Nobble, and afterwards, United coach Barry brought a tear to everyone’s eye in the press conference with a poignant tribute to his fallen player:

“Phil was a dynamo in the team’s heart” said Barry, “the driving force behind our victory today. Unfortunately we haven’t earned enough revenue to revive him, so he is now the post-match buffet on the coach home. It’s what he would have wanted”.

Over on Pitch 2, Jaxxon Bojangles were taking on Craig’s The G-Man Massive, a quite literally massive Marauder team that were doing their best to put the wind up the tiny Zees with some brutal slamming.dreadball-5

From the kick-off the Zees swarmed their opposition and it wasn’t long before Stuart, the rising star of the Bojangles, found himself in a 3-point scoring position. He doubled his strike throw and in a glorious display of showboating, threw the ball between his legs to give the Bojangles a 3-point advantage.

“Right”, said Craig, pointing at Stuart, “I’m going to kill that bastard”.

Ignoring the newly-launched ball, he marched Orcouch, the hefty Orc Guard over to Stuart, who was still prancing about in the strike zone in front of his adoring fans, and rolled 5 Slam dice.

Two fives, three sixes.

Re-roll the sixes – a two and two sixes.

Re-roll the sixes – a three and a five.

Ok, just nine successes that Stuart needed to dodge.

The dodge dice were rolled and Stuart’s head went sailing through the air, bounced twice and skidded the entire length of the pitch into the Zee’s dugout.

Stuart’s lifeless eyes stared up at the horrified monkeys on the subs bench and they went berserk with fear. Once they calmed down however, Stuart’s death galvanised the team and they managed to shut out the Massive through sheer weight of numbers.

Happily for the Zee fans, the cash from the game, alongside the money gained from recycling Stuart’s corpse, allowed the Bojangles to clone a new Stuart. Stuart Jnr.

With the best record in the tournament, the Bojangles went into their second game knowing anything less than a win would hand the title to one of their rivals. The match against Martin’s unnamed Forge Fathers didn’t start well when the ball initially launched at the feet of a big burly dwarf who proceeded to pick it up and slowly advance up the field to score a 1-point strike early on.

Poor positioning from the Forge Fathers however, meant the re-launched ball was able to be gathered by the Zees who quickly surged unmolested up the field of play to score a 4-point strike.

From then on the match devolved into a large midfield skirmish with Zee bodies hampering the Forge Fathers attempts to score, and Jaxxon Bojangles were crowned the winners of the Trontek Cup, parading their Gold Star in front of an adoring crowd.

Match results:

Mandigester United bt Ste’s Unnamed Teratons by 1
Jaxxon Bojangles bt The G-Man Massive by 3
Jaxxon Bojangles bt Martin’s Unnamed Forge Fathers by 3

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